Posted on June 29, 2010 by pruesaysit

From an early age, I found a lot of “stuff” sexy. Movies, music, certain words but mostly, the sexiest of all, was the feeling that came from humping the arm of the couch. I didn’t know what made it ‘sexy’ per say, but I knew I didn’t want to get caught doing it, which instantly made it more appealing. From the couch arm, I progressed to stuffed toys, then pillows and then once I was of age, I made my first investment in a battery operated unit. I was sorely disappointed. I was a beginner back in those days. I didn’t realise that anything that required less power than a television remote was not going to cut it. I ended up with some horrid gold ‘Lady Finger’ vibe that ran on 1 AAA battery. The faux gold gilding started peeling off before it even touched a hint of lube. I’d once heard that story about the women who died after ingesting all that gold in Goldfinger, the movie, so it was more of a novelty than anything that was going to get me off, lest the risk of GoldBox. When I got my first real serious boyfriend, he bought me a $200 Japanese pearl type vibe, which was the style of the times, and it was on like Donkey Kong… Til it broke, 3 months in. Admittedly, I’d given a good work out, but not enough to kill a $200 vibe, surely? To put it in context, I also had a boyfriend at the time, so it wasn’t my sole source of indulgence. I vowed there and then that I would never spend more than $100 dollars on a vibe, given it’s non refundable nature.
So, for years now, I’ve put up with $20 bullet vibes and inexpensive dildos that I suspect may contain those chemicals that they’re not supposed to have in ‘em, coz one I actually threw away because the smell of plastic was so over powering. Actually, come to think of it, it was a Doc Johnson purple silicone number, which put them in my bad books for some time…
That was until recently, Continue reading →

Posted in Reviews | Tagged #review #gettinoff, reviews, Throbbing Hearts, vibrators | Leave a comment

Posted on June 29, 2010 by pruesaysit

Partner. Girlfriend. Significant Other. Best friend. All labels of the way others fit into our lives. I’m not sure if they’re for our own convenience, or the convenience of others at times. “This is X, my (insert relationship here)” It’s all fine and dandy to describe the relationship as “It’s complicated” on Facebook, but how do you explain that to people in person? If you introduce the person you’re sleeping with who isn’t your significant other but still more than a friend as such, you’re going to get that “TMI” look, trust me, it’s a look I know well. And yet, somehow “This is my friend, X” doesn’t seem to adequately describe the relationship either. Sure, no one needs to know you’re sleeping together, but I think spending that kind of physically intimate time with someone puts you a in a different category to someone you might have a coffee with once a fortnight. I keep telling myself there has to be a better word to describe it than “friends with benefits” but then I stop and think to myself, would putting a label on it only be for the benefit of others? It’s hard to let go of those things that society has drilled into us for generations. You’re either single, dating, dating exclusively, engaged, married, de facto. The only change to the line up in the last decade has been the addition of “Fuck Buddy”, but I think you could add another handful of labels to describe a relationship and you still wouldn’t have it covered.

It’s odd how certain labels hold more weight than others. You’re more likely to get an invite to dinner if his Mum thinks you’re his girlfriend, than if you’re just ‘that bird he bangs’, even though you may well have the exact same relationship emotionally and physically, without the label. It doesn’t make a lot of sense, but in a world where we categorise, tag, even geotag, it’s difficult to feel as though that should extend to real life. I’m still struggling with the concept of embracing life without labels, despite my determination to embrace things as they come and remain in the moment.. Regardless of what some people will tell you, I do like some things in order, and I struggle a bit if I can’t categorise something or file it respectively. Do you believe that labels are an indication of the stature of your importance in someone’s life? Or are they something you find redundant because they’re outdated and constrictive?

Posted in Opinion | Tagged coupledom, labels, potentials, single, society, standards | 1 Comment

Posted on June 27, 2010 by pruesaysit

Dog Day Afternoon

Thanks for a great afternoon girls! And thanks to my friend MamaLuigiRules for letting me geek alone, in company, tonight.

Posted in Advice | Tagged cute, friends, The Blog | Leave a comment

Posted on June 27, 2010 by pruesaysit

Don't get all Scrabble Nazi on me

Posted in The Blog | Tagged cryptic, love, picture posts | Leave a comment

Posted on June 22, 2010 by pruesaysit

The perfect kiss needs to be the right mix of spontaneity, passion, anticipation, tenderness, desire and co-ordination. There are plenty of good types of kisses, but dude, the ultimate kiss can make your legs weak and your stomach feel like it might bottom out. I don’t think there’s any rule when it comes to the physical elements of a good kiss, because everyone has a different preference. You’ve got your tongue heavy types, the kind that mistake your mouth as a spittoon, the ‘virgin’ mouth- you know, tight lipped?, and for everyone who finds each of these approaches a turn off, there’s someone who finds it the sexiest thing on Earth. Personally, I’m inclined to dig the moderate tongue, hand on face, tease approach but that’s subject to variation. The ultimate kiss for me though, was one a few years ago, that was filled with more anticipation than would fit inside of an 80’s People Mover, the kind of tortured desire that the great novelists of our time have used as inspiration, and the sexiness of Jessica Rabbit in her tight red dress. For me, it may as well have been painted by Gustav Klimt and leafed with gold, it was so good.
I had been out on a lunch date, and a lingering hug turned into a kiss on the cheek, which turned into a kiss that lasted for what seemed like forever, that left me walking on clouds for days. I still feel a bit giddy when I think about it. It had come about after years of friendship and lead up and tension and desire. I barely remember floating away from our date at the time, because I was so fluffy all over. There were other kisses between us, but that first kiss was perfect in every way. I had one of those Broadway musical moments in my head as I walked away, with a grin plastered so far across my face I must have looked like one of those Luna Park Clowns.

Tell me about your perfect kiss, was it the technique or the partner or the situation or a combination of all 3?

Posted in Opinion | Tagged kissing, techniques, tell me about your... | Leave a comment

Posted on June 19, 2010 by pruesaysit

I’ve never loved two partners the same way. I don’t think it’s possible for two people to evoke all the exact same emotions in you, or to satisfy the same whims, that provoke love in a carbon copy fashion. For years, I believed that story we’re spun from the time we’re young, that’d I’d fall in love once and he’d be my everything etc etc, you know how the story goes. I know it happens for some, but I suspect it’s fairly rare to get it right the first time round. I adore hearing those stories couples who were each others first loves, and who adored each other still half a century later. I’m almost envious that they should never know the kind of pain that comes with heart break, but I guess, eventually everyone suffers that loss in the end. They say it gets easier every time, but I don’t know if ‘easier’ is the term to describe it. I think most of us just learn to cope with it better each time, we learn to reserve our feelings a little more next time round, we just get a little more guarded to make it harder for the next person to crack us open. So while we cope with the heart break better, it seems it gets harder to deal with the next prospective love.

Personally, the idea of falling in love with someone again is simultaneously an amazing, hopeful experience but it also fills me with fear. I figure by the time comes, it will probably coincide with Hayley’s Comet so I’ll have dealt with any and all residual issues by then, but what happens when it does come when you’ve got more baggage than will stow away safely in the overhead compartment? Do you jump in, knowing you’ve got issues and deal with them as they come along, or do you torture yourself, Eagles

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Desperado style, and remain unattached to anyone in an emotional capacity to spare yourself the pain? As I get older, I realise that more and more people chose the second, easy listening, difficult living option…that, or it’s quickly becoming the new “It’s not you, it’s me” line for the crossover X/Y generation babies that are filling their their scripts for Benzos and SSRI’s at the Pharmacy as you read this. Which reminds me…

I think spending time on your own to get to know yourself is one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not advocating joining the Convent, but I think solo self reflection can be a really healthy thing. Don’t expect that you’ll have any huge epiphanies, I’ve been there, done that. The best I came away with after a 18 month self imposed abstinent stint, was that love can be awesome and it can suck really hard, just like life. But you can’t hide under the doona covers forever, and sometimes when you pop your head out, there aren’t any monsters under the bed at all. Best of all, after that realisation, you can snuggle up next to your love and enjoy one of life’s sweetest treasures,contentment.

Posted in Advice | Tagged abstinent, alone, breaking up, getting back on the horse, heartbreak, issues, loss, love | Leave a comment

Posted on June 15, 2010 by pruesaysit

Depression can be a strange creature. It is unpredictable, random and at times, an untameable beast that threatens to consume you. They call it the “black dog” but I’m not sure why… Black dogs are cute, think of a black Pug… adorable. It should be called the “Big Cat”… like those huge cougar style cats that live in the wild and leave huge footprints behind and the only evidence of their existence outside of those tracks, is grainy home video footage of a stealthy galloping beast that could kinda be anything you wanted it to be, if you squinted hard enough.
Even when life is going as well as it could be, there are still days that are a huge struggle. I think it’s like for most people who suffer from Mental Illness. While it’s treatable, it can fluctuate in severity and sometimes, you can have an off day, or week, or month. I’ve felt like that lately, maybe the last 3 weeks or so. I’m alright, don’t get me wrong. In fact, I don’t think I’ve been happier in a more practical sense than I have been in ten years, but Depression is an illness, not a state of mind that you can just pull yourself out of all of the time. Even nowadays, when I actively use meditation, harness the power of positive thinking and all those other big handed Tony Robbins style affirmations, I struggle with one half of my brain berating me “Why the hell are you bothering with this law of attraction, positive thinking bullshit?” But then I remind myself that there’s nothing wrong with trying to look on the brighter side of things more often. I’m so used to seeing the negatives in everything that it’s a hard habit to break…embracing positivity is a huge step towards attempting to live a happier life. Sometimes you just have to give yourself permission to inspire happiness in yourself. Whatever helps you cope with what can be a lonely and isolating illness that a lot of people chose not to bother to understand, which is a loss for the community, given 1 in 5 people will suffer from Mental Illness at some point in their lives. It’s not something that has to be struggled with alone. There are some amazing resources out there for people who are struggling and would like some help, or even just a forum of folks that mean it when they say “I understand” which is sometimes all you need to know you’re not alone.

Posted in Advice, Opinion | Tagged activist, awareness, depression, help, mental illness | Leave a comment

Posted on June 13, 2010 by pruesaysit

Not all of them are especially sexy films, but there’s just something about them that makes my lady parts feel all buzzy. Here they are in no particular order;

Disclosure. Damn, look, if a prize went to most aggressive brunette in a slinky dress to come on to her boss in order to set him up for a sexual harassment suit, then I can’t think of a more deserving winner than Demi. Demi Moore and Michael Douglas have some smokin’ hot chemistry in this movie and while it’s more drama than erotica, I can guarantee that plenty of VHS tape would be stretched at the scene in the office where Demi almost gets her man.

You know how when you’re a kid and you happen to get a glimpse at a certain movie that you know you shouldn’t probably be watching? For me, it was Risky Business. Rebecca De Mornay and Tom cruise on the rocking recliner? Good god. And lest we forget, one of the most influential sex scenes to ever permeate my own fantasies, the good ole subway scene.

Blame It On Rio. Yes, I admit it. I’ve always had a thing for older men, and Michael Cain is about as sexy as they get. Hottest line? “But, I’m 20 years older than you…” to which she replies coyly “Twenty eight”. Combine that with the fact that it’s all on the down low and it’s set in a sunshiny location, and it’s a sure fire sexy flick.

Shortbus. Go figure, for all the shagging in the film, it’s the first scene of the movie where the guys filming himself performing autofellatio. Well, fuck me, good for him, and I’d be remiss to say that a guy with the ability to fit his dick in his mouth isn’t arousing in a way I can’t quite articulate, although chances of me finding a dude who can blow himself AND wants a girlfriend, are slim to none, so I’m left to watch the dvd wistfully.

Bachelor Party. Tom Hanks is never gonna be the hottest dude at a party, but he’s funny as hell and that puts him in good standing. In turn, this whole movie is sexy. There’s a wild amount of tits, the kind you only ever get to see in 80’s flicks, and a dead donkey. Giggidy.

Secretary. So it will probably come as no surprise that there’d be some sort of kinky element to the list of these films, but what will shock you is that it’s the final scene in Secretary, where James Spader lays Maggie Gyllanhall down on a square of lush green lawn and makes love to her, tenderly. I love that he’s finally able to love her in a way that makes him feel vulnerable, after she showed how vulnerable she could be. I’m not underestimating the power of James Spaders incredibly sexy ass paddling during the film, but my gooey caramel inside melts when I watch that part of the movie.

Posted in Opinion | Tagged celebrities, films, Sexy, Stuff About Me | Leave a comment

Posted on June 13, 2010 by pruesaysit

Blanche Devereaux, Rue McClanahan’s character from The Golden Girls, was one of the first even women I ever really was inspired by. I loved the fact that while she was just as plain looking as the rest of the ladies, she never failed to believe that she was the the sexiest minx amongst them. I loved her unyielding confidence, her Southern charm and of course, her ability to embrace the term ‘slut’ as a term of endearment, rather than something to be ashamed of. I can’t think of a character from a show in the last 20 years that was as sexy as Blanche without ever seeing so much as a hint of sideboob*.

*Peter Griffin does not count.

”Like I’m the only person who’s ever mixed a Margarita in a sailors mouth before!?”

Posted in Opinion | Tagged Ladies I Like, Sexy | Leave a comment

Posted on June 12, 2010 by pruesaysit

With all the Maude Flanders style hoo ha that’s going on about the safety and privacy of Facebook at the moment, it got me thinking about how much information people divulge about themselves via their profiles.df I’m not talking about the information you can see before you’re someone’s “friend”, I’m talking about the’ over the top, more detail than I could possibly need to know’ status updates that permeate my friends feed. I actually had to delete someone recently, purely because I could no longer stand to read their ranting about “idiots who don’t speak English”. It was either, I hit delete, or I was going to erupt and let fly on her wall how I wasn’t interested in reading her intolerant bitchings.

I’ve noticed a lot of people feel the need to over share on the Facebook, which is odd, given all the social media outlets there are for voicing your opinion, why chose the forum that your Nanna, High School History Teacher and co-workers are bound to read? “GAFB!” (Get A Fucking Blog!) is the acronym I’m coining, as a response to anyone who over shares on Facebook, and needs to invest in a blog in which to broadcast their thoughts. This applies to anyone who commits the following:

a) brings their relationship drama to the Good Book.
b) shares their babies first turd on the Good Book.
c) shares ongoing wedding plans more detailed than a dress fitting or finding the perfect shoes. I’m glad you found the perfect invites, but when you’ve got like 30+ people on your list planning a wedding, you get over reading about napkins and linens and how many days there are til you are the happiest person on Earth, pretty quickly. We don’t need the daily countdown.
d) shares ongoing statuses about your health, saying your sick is okay, but fuck man, we don’t need a diagnoses and a list of symptoms.
e) updates with emo, feel sorry for me, no body loves me statuses.
f) TMI details of your sex life. The only person I’ll exclude from this is Cat, because her statuses always makes me laugh.
g) you’re making mention of how much of a pain in the arse your community service is- why would you advertise that tid bit, I ask of you?
h) creates obviously passive aggressive status updates directed at someone on their friends list/partner/housemate. Vent in a blog, like the rest of us do, that way you can really go to town on ]em.
i) Statements about the virtues of any sort of deity and how I can change the course of my life by following said omnipotent being.
j) confessions of how wasted you got on the weekend. Mum doesn’t need to know how many bitch drinks you managed to plough through on the weekend and how hilarious it was that you spewed all over your best mates floorboards.
i) any mentions of farts, hurling or your struggles with not managing to remove your arse from the toilet seat, so you’re having to update your status from the can.
j) regular weight loss status updates. I’m chuffed you’re feeling good, post a photo and show it off, but no one on your Facebook list needs to know how you’re on day 6 of your “All Soup Diet” and how you’re feeling faint and lethargic. Dude, eat something for fucks or brag about your efforts in a blog so the rest of us don’t have to feel like we should indulge in an extra sandwich at lunchtime for you.

Don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing better than one of those status updates that brings out the morbid curiosity in the reader. I love watching people hash it out over status replies, getting narky at each other, watching people call each other out…sometimes it’s like a car accident that you just can’t look away from. Although, there something to be said about knowing the right place and time, and that’s a huge call coming from me. Those of you who know me, or who have read my blog and it’s incantations, know well enough that I’m candid to the point of making most people uncomfortable. Not a virtue, I know, but the truth is never comfortable as I say, but that is what a blog is for. Venting what’s inside you and giving the world the opportunity to hear what’s going on in your head and heart. Facebook is not that forum, mi amigos, Most Facebook friends lists are made up of a mixture of old school buddies, teachers you got along well with, technically savvy relatives, co workers, exes and those friends you keep around, when really if you past them in the shopping centre, you’d probably give them the “eyebrows of acknowledgement” and quickly slip down the Feminine Hygiene aisle.

GAFB could probably be used out of annoyance, but I imagine it could also be more of a suggestion, like GAFB? The F is merely my doing, because I’m a foul mouthed hussy. Feel free to use the GAB acronym, which seems slightly less aggressive. I say, ‘Spread it” With all the awesome blogging platforms out there, like WordPress & Tumblr to name a few, there’s never been a better time to get crackin’ on a blog. Once it’s up and running you can bitch about your ex, your real estate agent, your kitchen renovation, your housemate not doing the dishes and your dog tearing up the house while you were at work, and I don’t have to know the ins and outs of your daily life unless I’m curious enough to visit your blog, Actually, give it a bit, and Facebook will have it’s own blogging feature, no doubt, and then you’ll be able to broadcast all your grievences and ailments to anyone who wants to read.