pruesaysit
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Sunday Session
Feb 21st
Dear Pruesaysit,
Hi! I’m missing the blog but loving the q & a! So I thought I’d throw something at you I’d been thinking for a while I’ve been dating this girl for a year and a half now. We’ve always had a passionate relationship. Lots of fighting but lots of making up. My friends and family have never really been her biggest fans, so you can imagine how well it went down when we moved in together at Christmas. No one said anything outright, but I know no one was very excited about it. So we’re a few months into living together, and I’m starting to realise that maybe we made a mistake. The fighting has become more intense and the love making has almost run dry, all together. I’m realising she is a very selfish person. Have I dug myself in too deep now we’re tied in to a lease? Only a few months ago, we were talking about marriage, but if this is indication of what it would be like, it’s never going to happen! Any ideas? Drowning not waving, Victoria
Given by the tone of your letter, it sounds like the ‘love blinkers’ are well and truly More >
31 and Single
Feb 18th
Dear Prue,
I’m 31 single and can’t find a date. Whats wrong with me?
I doubt there’s anything wrong with you, let’s start off there., There’s plenty of nice, normal, attractive, appealing people out there who feel that because that they’re single, there’s something inherently wrong with them. It’s a shame that couple-dom is almost like a validation of being a worthwhile person, coz it’s no indication of whether you’re a good egg or not, regardless of how it can feel sometimes. I’m sure we can all think of a number of people, who by any other name would be known as a wanker, who manage to acquire and maintain relationships. So, lesson number one, single does not mean there’s anything wrong with you.
There could be a a bunch of reasons you struggle to find a date, and given I’m not that psychic electric head Zolton from Big, I’m just gonna cover a few could-be contributors. Sometimes it’s the vibe you’re putting out there, sometimes it’s not knowing where to find people and for others, it’s a confidence thing. I’ve always thought of relationships kinda like searching for a job. You don’t just expect the perfect job to land in your More >
VDay Post Mortem
Feb 15th
I think most people have some sort of love/hate relationship with Valentines day. We all know it’s a revenue generating Hallmark holiday logically, but for some of us, that doesn’t make the feelings it evokes any less real. My own personal feelings about Valentines day depend on my how I’m feeling about myself on that Feb 14th, every year, regardless of whether I’m in a relationship or not. Some years, I get an attack of the ‘oh I feel like a loser’, other years I don’t give it a second thought, whether or not I’m in a relationship. Personally, I don’t want a dude to bring home some overpriced flowers one particular day a year coz he’s gonna feel like an arsehole if he doesn’t. Not really my scene. Personally I’d prefer a bunch on a day he knows I really need em. But I think like a lot of people, I have moments in life where I struggle with loneliness, partnered or not. Sometimes those two events over lap. I think it’s all about how much pressure you put on the day…coz really, it’s just another day and if you’re cool with being single on Feb 13th, why then, More >
Disillusioned
Feb 12th
Dear Pruesaysit,
I’m 29 and single. I would like to settle down soon with a partner, but there’s only one problem. My job! You see I work in the video games industry as a writer. My job is to play through games and review them for the website I write for. I’ve discovered that most people have an issue with it and don’t see it as real work and almost think my job is a joke, particularly women. Being a writer, I’m articulate and think I make a good first impression with people. Yet the moment women ask what I do for a living and how I spend my time (as a lot of my free time is spent playing games for work too) I’m viewed as immature and juvenile. Despite being independent, I think this almost comes across as me being unwilling to grow up.
When meeting women, I’ve tried just saying “I’m a writer,” but when I inevitably go into more detail about what I do for a living (or explain why my house is full of video games and consoles) they start treating me differently and things get awkward shortly after. How can I prove that the industry I More >
Round Two
Feb 11th
Pruesaysit,
My husband wants us to have a 3some. It’s not that I’m not keen, in fact, I’m really turned on by the idea, but I don’t know who to ask? I have a girlfriend who I messed around with a few times in my mid 20’s, but things would feel kind of awkward I think. Should we go online to find someone?
Meat in the Middle, Hopefully
Yeah, you could do the online thing, but to be honest, it’s probably more trouble than it’s worth. Don’t ask your girlfriend. It might have been different one crazy night in your 20’s after a pub crawl and some joints, but it gets a bit blurrier when you’re married. My advice, see a professional. Discuss with your parnter what you’re looking for, both chose and both enjoy, and both walk away knowing that it’s done, no ties. There’s not that worry that can occasionally creep in after you ask a known friend to to get it on and they say no. With a professional guy or girl, you’d can exactly what you both want, guilt free and go home and enjoy the memory a few times over. It will be money well spent More >