pruesaysit.com

Sore and Sorry

Columbo is still missing. I don’t think she’s coming home. I can’t put into words how much I miss her so I’m not going to even try.

I’m staying at mum and dads tonight. I’ve been doped up on Panadeine Forte all day, trying to dull the pain of my fucked up wisdom tooth. I tried to get an appointment at 4 different dentists but none could see me today. It’s my own fault for leaving it so late and not getting it seen to before it got so bad.

I’m going to go back into the warmth of the loungeroom now and zone out with a couple of painkillers and some crappy TV. Sorry for the overwhelming emo-ness of these last few posts, things just haven’t been going very well for me lately and it’s getting harder to keep it all bottled up. Thanks for everyones recent comments, I’ve really appreciated them. *hugs*

My little blue eyed girl

I can’t sleep. Columbo has been missing for the last 24 hours and I’ve searched the neighbouring streets but haven’t been able to find her. I’ve called everyone I can call at this hour (5am) and have left my contact details with vets and animal hospitals. While it might seem stupid to get so worked up over a cat who’s been missing a day or two, she’s my baby. Yeah yeah, some cats go missing for days at a time, it’s just what cats do, but not Collie. Collie always comes home when I call her. She curls up next to me at bedtime and gives me kisses and hugs. She’s one of the few constants in my life and I love her so much. I hope she’s okay, I hope she’s been hiding in someones garage and will come home any second. I keep getting excited when I hear a cat bell, only to be disappointed when I realise it’s one of the boys just prancing around. I don’t know what I will do if she doesn’t come home. In the midst of everything that’s going on in my life, I think losing Collie cat would just tip me over the edge and send me into a crying mess that never wants to emerge from under the doona.

Things To Do

I’ve started to compose a list of 100 things I want to do before I die. So here they are in no particular order…

1. Learn to play my harmonica finally
2. Finish and upload my Agoraphobia Support website
3. Go to Las Vegas
4. Own a Mustang
5. Quit Smoking
6. Swim with Dolphins
7. Have kids
8. Be a Published Writer
9. Own another Siamese cat
10. Go to Graceland More »

If I were cleaning my bathroom in the 40’s, I’d look like this

Go here to see the rest… 

Why can’t I ever find a safe place to fall?

The other day as I came home on the train, I wrote this note to capture how good I was feeling

“I feel like I’m floating. I’ve had the most amazing day and I never want it to end”

Suddenly I feel like I’ve dropped from the sky with a huge thud. It hurts so much.

Giddy

I had the most amazing day this week. Discount Lingerie + amazing, knee melting first kiss + running in the rain= Floating.
I can’t believe we were suddenly standing there making out after imaging it so many times. It was kind of surreal.
Things are going so well right now. Pink lawn flamingoes for all my friends!

So I keep singing my song

Looking for a housemate is giving me the shits. The whole game of finding someone trust worthy enough not to do a runner with your stuff while your gone while also requiring them to have basic common sense and good manners is not an easy one. We got lucky with Emily. This time round we’re finding it hard just to get someone to respond to the copious amount of ads we’ve posted. Ugh! I always worry about rent and bills being paid off by the housemate who’s moving out. It’s a constant fear in the back of my mind that I’m going to get left in the lurch financially, regardless of who I live with. Emily moves out tomorrow so we’ll have to sit down and work out the final bills and stuff. I’m sure it’ll be fine, she’s a good egg. What if we can’t find a housemate to replace her? Ugh, all irrational fears I know but they feel real to me.

I went to the funeral of a friends father the other day. I’d never been to a Jewish funeral before and I was moved by the simplicity of the graveside service as compared to the Catholic services I’m accustomed to. No flowers, no exorbitantly priced coffin or disinterested attendants. The no frills affair really made me think about death just being part of the life cycle. The Rabbi gave a short sermon likening each moment of our lives to a music note being added to a score and how when we die, that song continues to exist and resonate in other people. I thought it was a beautiful idea.

If you’re curious, email me.

I just wrote some super hot erotica. I’d post it but it might shock some people! If I could, I’d totally fuck me…it’s just that hot.
It wasn’t actually erotica, it started as an email and just ended up like that. Move over JT, I’m bringin sexy back. Yep.