pruesaysit.com

Fancy shoes and issues.

Tuesday night I wore high heels for the first time in my entire life. Occasion- Andreas Housewarming. They hurt like a bastard and I ended up taking them off relatively soon after arriving. It’s tragic that as a 25 year old woman, there are amauteur trannies who perform better in heels than I do. I think I’m going to have get some ‘training heels’.

I saw a lot of people I hadn’t seen for a long time at Andreas shindig. I knew they were going to be there, and I was feeling pretty anxious about it beforehand. I’m not sure why I felt so nervous about seeing them…I guess I was afraid I wasn’t going to fit in anymore, or perhaps they’d find my conversation mundane and irrelevent. I guess because it had been so long since seeing these people, some I once considered quite close friends, I had built up scenarios in my head. Typical of me, they were all worst case scenarios. It’s like if a bill comes in the mail, and you just don’t open it, and it weighs on your mind for ages, but you still can’t muster the balls to open the envelope? And eventually the anxiety that builds up about the contents of said envelope become far worse than the reality of what’s really inside it? Does that make sense? It does in my head.

Ofcourse, I was being ridiculous and they all spoke to me and it in some ways, it was like I’d seen them only a week ago. It was such a relief and I actually really enjoyed the night.

On the way home, I was thinking about the anxiety I’d had about seeing these people and how my thoughts were so dispoportionate to the truth. It made me realise that I still have quite a few issues regarding my self esteem that I need to deal with. I worry people dislike me all the time. It’s really quite self absorbed, but I guess that could be attributed to the whole “only child” thing. When I look at it objectively, I’m sure people don’t talk about me even half as much as I think they do. I mean, I know there are quite a few people out there who really dislike me ie; Dee, Dineri, Cassie, Leigh just to name a few, but I’m sure even those people don’t spend their time talking about me or wasting their energy on me.
I guess I assume people don’t like me, because I don’t much like myself.
Obviously, there are things I like about me, but I’m uncertain whether I like me as a whole. It’s funny, for someone who comes across as overly confidant, I really am starting to notice how many insecurities I actually have.

Most of these insecurities are about other people disliking me, other people conspiring behind my back (paranoid, much?), people I love just vanishing out of my life, not amounting to anything, not having anything to show for the last 8 years except a huge medical file and some forlorn poetry…actually, I have a whole host of issues. Far too many to list in what was going to be a short little entry about my first time wearing high heels.

Reading this makes me want to face palm myself, but it makes me feel good that I can at least identify these issues now, when I couldn’t not too long ago. I guess that’s at least one reason to start liking myself.

One Cat. Two Dogs.

The other day I was very nearly eaten by a greyhound. Okay, perhaps I’m embellishing a little, but he did scratch me! And it hurt like fuck!
I’d went with Loz to the Animal Shelter and was patting a greyhound, when he got overly excited and jumped up on me. I thought he was going to eat my face off, so I put my arms beneath his paws to pry him off me, and it resulted in a decent gash on my palm. The lady at the Animal Shelter was lovely and helped me fix up my hand with band aids and Savlon. I ended up getting a Tetnus shot the next morning so I wouldn’t die. Actually, I was less scared of dying and more afraid of Lock Jaw. No food and no talking would make for a very unhappy Prue.

Tea and sympathy both happily accepted.

You know what’s weird? That someone keeps coming to my page searching for Dineri, a girl I used to be good friends with. And not just once or twice, but like, once a week. Go figure that someone I spent so much time with should only pull up one or two references on my site. I figure I should write something about her given that someone seems so intent on reading about her.
She was meant to be my best friend, yet slept with my ex of 3 years less than a week after we broke up. Not just once, but several times. This behavior is indicative of the kind of person she was. If I had something, she had to have something better. She’s the kind of girl that hears you mention that you want to buy a great new dress, and goes out and buys it before you, just so you can’t have it. Then talks about how fabulous it looks on her and how it would never have suited you because you are too fat. She chooses her friends according to who will make a better sidekick. Who will make her look thinner, prettier, smarter? It’s funny, I very rarely think about her these days, unless I’m walking thru a Fish Market. Sometimes the smell makes me nostalgic….but not very often.

Here is a low quality, but highly cute picture I took of Chucky tonight…

Prue: A brief history

The other day whilst sorting through the pile of shit I had in the garage, I found a bunch of photos.
If I’m ever on ‘This Is Your Life’, direct Mike Munroe to this post.

I must have been nearly 4 in this photo. I only know that because I don’t yet have a wicked scar above the bridge of my nose.
Talk about cute as a bugs ear!

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I am tactless

You see that deerhead on the wall? That’s MINE, baby! I fucking love it!
It turns out that whilst I’ve been pining away for a mounted deer head, my dad has had some terribly gawdy kitsch little treasure buried away in a storage box.
He found it for me during the week, and now I am the proud new owner of a tacky plastic deer head barometer.

I’m annoyed that I didn’t realise Rodriguez was playing at the Corner Hotel tonight, I thought it was next weekend for some reason. I was going to take my mum. This bums me out.

I’ve had the house to myself most of the weekend, so I’ve spent it doing homework and watching movies in bed. It’s been great.

My mind is blank.

Awesome and Free. My two fave words together at last!

Wowzers. I just inherited the sexiest set of drawers of all time!

You’ll note that I actually made my bed for the first picture. Same doona cover, just reversed. And check out my sexy hawaiian girl on the top of the drawers!

Isn’t it delicious?

To the Dogs

It is common knowledge that the best way to spend a Thursday night is down at the dogs. The little jackets, the pre-recorded bugle sounding out before a race, the smell of stale VB that lingers in the TAB…it’s these little things that make a night at the Greyhounds perfect for a classless lass like myself.
Fortunately, I have friends that are happy to drop themselves down to my level on occasion, so Loz, Jo, Gords, Teeds and I headed to Sandown.

Teeds and Gords placing their bets.

The dogs doing their thing.

Deliberating which dog to back snack from the hot food stall looks least likely to give me food poisoning.

I was too pov to back any dogs, although I did suggest a dog I wanted to win in one race. No more than 2 seconds after I’d uttered my dogs number, said dog went on to start humping every dog in sight. Typical that I should back the humper.

Another jaunty adventure undertaken recently was heading to Karaoke again at the Tudor Inn. No Franco Cotzo in sight. Perhaps he has found a local closer to Brunswick or Footescray?
It was, indeed, a very odd night. I had some bogan woman slap me, not once but twice, in what was an apparent show of appreciation for my Karaoke efforts. Now, I’ve imagined being slapped down at Karaoke, as I’m not very good, but this woman went on about how I should cut a cd, and how I was fabulous and amazing and I “shit all over that fat fucker” Guy Sebastian? Her attention was so odd. She actually followed me around all night, trying to talk to me, telling me how awesome I was. I had a brief peek into what it might be like to be a celebrity…(Yes, I realise this is quite a stretch given that I was just some Karaoke bitch, but I digress) and it was creepy as all hell. She kept touching me and slapping me with enthusiasm and hunting me down, no matter how hard I tried to hide behind friends.
I found a brave protector in Col, a bloke who looked remarkably like Gene Simmons. Yes, he was Gene Simmons age as well. And he was lovely and had be been 20 years younger, he’d have been in like flynn, but rather than let him down, (he was pretty keen, who can blame him?) I let him believe I was gay. I feel kinda bad about it, but I mean, hell, I was only half lying. I didn’t have the heart to tell him he was too old. He was sweet about it and still tried to convince me he could convert me if I had dinner with him. Ten points for effort. It was very flattering, none the less.

Sunday I did something that I have been putting off for about 6 years. I cleaned out all the shit I’ve been carrying around since I moved out of home. A whole trailer load of stuff went. It had been taking up the entirety of my garage since I moved here to Aspendale.
While we were loading the trailer, I had some time to think about why I’d been carrying it all around with me. In a lot of ways, I think all the ’stuff’ I’ve held on to is like a security blanket. I’ve been scared of ending up on my own and knowing that I had all this ’stuff’, it made me feel less scared, more prepared. But I realised that I didn’t need to hold on to everything I’ve ever touched to feel safe. It was quite an emotional experience getting rid of it all of it, but in a nice purge-y kind of way. Tossing all the shit away has been like a physical manifestation of the emotional transitions I’ve been through these last few months, except I didn’t have to go to Clayton nor pay $47 bucks to get rid of my emotional baggage.

Christ. Is that how much shit I’ve been keeping all these years?
Seriously, even my dad looks shocked! Here’s my attempt at a shocked face

I just noticed I look like a I have a spectacular Widows Peak in this picture. Awesome.

Anyways, this is what I’ve been up to. What have you been doing?
Any suggestions for avoiding becoming a pack rat again? How does one deal with Karaoke fame?

Btw, I’m thinking of taking Plush Jesus on an excursion. Anywhere you’d like to see Jesus chillaxin?

Unintentional Hiatus

Rest easy nerds, I haven’t done anything drastic like gone out and got myself an actual life, I’ve just been a bit too busy to post lately.
While I plan on providing you with directors commentary of the spectacular that is my life, I’m far too worn out to do it tonight.

Highlights of next post are set to include;

Prues Big Night Out (at the Greyhounds)

Prues Short Lived Brush with Fame (at Karaoke)

Prue Loses 150kg! (worth of rubish at the tip!)

Here’s a photo to tide you over. It’s of me about to purge the last 8 years of my life. Feels good to finally be free of ’stuff’.