pruesaysit.com

Serviettes are a poor substitute for Kleenex

Have some sort of cold/flu thing. Am slowly dying.

Please send chicken soup or lethal injection.

Plush Jesus…What Every Girl Needs

I’ve attempted to write in here a few times in the past week, but each time I’ve ended up sidetracked by school work. This is probably a good thing! 2 weeks in and I’ve finished 4 assignments already. Being able to study my course online is great because I can go at my own pace, which is probably faster than what I could if I were attending classes. Plus, I get the social interraction at our workshops every second Tuesday evening or so. It’s a good mix of what I want, and what I probably need.

Saturday I did two things I hadn’t done in a long time. No, not sex. I went to the Mordi Jazz, Food and Wine festival, which in itself was great, but the best thing was I went on the Cha Cha. Not a big deal, really, but since I developed my Anxiety disorder about 5 or 6 years ago, I’ve avoided doing stuff that might make me feel sick…I get anxious about feeling sick in public…so whizzy kind of rides were well out of the question. But as I stood there on Saturday watching the Cha Cha fly forward and zig zag around, I thought fuck it, I’m gonna ride that whizzy bastard. And I did! Loz suprised me by getting herself a ticket and jumping on with me, and it was heaps of fun. Well, for the first minute or so…then it was just a lot of “Jeez, when’s this bastard gonna stop?” The most exciting part of the ride was trying to get off it. When it stopped, the guy came and opened the little gate and told us to jump out. I looked down and realised there was about a 5′ drop down to the ground. I made the guy push our little carriage around to a spot where there was something to step on to. Fat chicks + heights= high probability of embarrassing incident involving landing flat on my face.

Later that night I did something else I hadn’t done for a long time. Went out on St Patricks day. As a non-drinker and an anxious bitch, I don’t ever venture out on Paddys Day. Normally everywhere is full of drunken knobs, and I know this might sound wierd, but drunk people make me anxious. (Oh god, it sounds like everything makes me anxious! Which, admittedly was once the case! But nowadays it’s mostly alcohol and busy crowds that get me on edge) Anyways, sitting around at home on Saturday night, Loz, Jo and myself decided that we were desperate for Karaoke. So we headed down to the Tudor Inn in Cheltenham. It was a pleasant suprise to find that the place was pretty quiet. No insane Paddys day revelry which came as a relief. We spent the night singing, playing pool with some awesome dudes we met and fighting off the advances of an old guy who looked like Franco Cotso. Good times.

Speaking of Loz, we’ve been getting on a lot better lately and she’s not moving out, for the time being. I think she’d be happier somewhere else, but I think she’s taking her time to find a place which is fine by me. Things in the house were getting so tense and finally errupted a few weeks ago after a series of arguments and my ban on Greg coming to the house. Why did I ban him? I’d had enough. It’s a long story. Anyways, Loz took some time out, which in turn, gave us all some time to think and reflect. I think when Loz moves out, Nate and I might just remain in the house by ourselves. While finding a new housemate wouldn’t be the end of the world, I think we’d both be happier not to have to share with someone we didn’t really know. It will depend on the money issue, but we’ve done it before, so I’m sure we’d cope again. It’s really just been a relief to have things settle down in the house finally.

Fuck it’s hot in the house tonight. I’ve got my fan going, but it’s still so muggy and uncomfortable.

Let’s take a brief interlude to look at some photos, shall we?

Back to Black. I like it better this way.

Loz escaping the clutches of Grand Sale.

Fuck, how good is this! I was in the bank so I couldn’t run out and take a photo of it, but it’s some sort of Sooty mobile!

 Best buy of the whole year! It’s a plush Jesus!

What’s JC without his magic sandals?

I swear, cats run the show here.

 Collie showing off her fantastic legs.

Before going back to black.

Stay tuned for more regular programming!

Schooled and Smelling Sweet

Tonight I got to lather myself in good smelling potions and lotions. I went to some skin care thing with Andrea, who is now queen of Nutrimetics My feet are all peppermint-y fresh. My wrists smell like vanilla and honey and frangipani. (Some of my favorite smells)  My décolletage is shimmery and smells like apricot. My arms smell like tangerine extract. The building they hold it is in Bayswater. It’s this big grey 80’s building that resembles a Scientology hall when you walk inside. Lots of pictures of high achievers and go-getters on the walls. All soft focus portraits of individuals with their heads tilted to 45degrees. I’m sure you can imagine.

There was a lot of clapping and handing out of certificates and badges. Lucky they had some hand lotion after all the rounds of applause given. I thought I was going to get a callous. The meeting finished off with tea in a Styrofoam cup and a piece of cake, no doubt mixed by some ones feet. I haven’t been ill yet, but I’ll wait another 24 hours before I declare the cake delicious.

I stopped off at 7-11 on the way home to get some smokes. I noticed they sold Toobs…Tasty Toobs. I bought two packets of them. I’d have bought more but I thought it best to try them again to reassure my love for them before I stocked up like a bear awaiting hibernation. Two 600ml Cokes for $4.50. It seemed like a good deal. Last week I paid $3.50 for a 600ml coke. Isn’t that insane? I shouldn’t have bought it, but really they could charge an arm and a leg for it and I’d still oblige them. I’m an addict. There’s no escape for the caffeine dependent.

My Tafe class went well Wednesday night. I put on a confidant facade, but truth be told, I was pretty nervous. I dreaded the thought of it being just like High School, where I failed to make any friends until I hit Year 10 or thereabouts. I’m not particularly confidant when it comes to meeting new people when I’m on my own and within a non-spontaneous situation. For instance, the other day I was shopping at the new deli at Parkdale when I paused to let an old man in an electric scooter through the aisle before me. He thanked me and we sparked up a conversation which ended in him inviting me for a cup of tea at his house, a few hundred meters down the road. It was pleasant and I was totally at ease. But had I known that when I went to Parkdale Deli, I’d have to speak to an old guy who’d want me to come round to his place for a cuppa, I would have been ridiculously nervous. I think it’s all the anticipation of the situation. Knowing I’m going to have to be in that situation beforehand gives me far too much time to dwell on it and create scenarios in my mind of what could go wrong. FYI, I didn’t go and have tea with the old bloke. I had chicken I had to put in the fridge at home, plus he wouldn’t give me a dink. Bastard.

Anyways, back to the whole Tafe situation. I got there a few minutes late. I thought I knew where I was going, but it turns out I didn’t and I gave Nate the wrong directions. Of course when I realized we were going the wrong way, I got flustered and gave poor Nate a hard time. There was some pushing and shoving of the Melways and raised voices. A few map checks later, we finally made it. Nate pulled up out the front and I raced out and into the building. I didn’t even have time to be nervous because I was too busy being scared of being late. Turns out they were just getting started. I took a spot at one of the spare PCs and gazed around to check out the rest of the class. Lots of women. A few guys. Maybe 20 in the class? A distinct lack of obvious geeks which shocked me. At 25 years old, I was certainly in the older age bracket of the class, but was by far not the eldest. I sat next to the eldest member of the class, a lovely American woman. I was really impressed to see a woman in her 60’s tackling web design. It made me think of that phrase about never being too old to learn something new.
Along with the old bird, there was this woman who asked a lot of questions. You know how there’s always one person in a class who asks ridiculous questions that forces others to roll their eyes and sigh with disbelief? Ours was some woman in her early 30’s who reminded me of Mercedes Corby. I knew after her first question that she was going to give me the irrits with her incessant queries.
We learnt some basic html codes. I’m going to go out on a limb here and suggest that I’m probably not going to struggle with this course much. My geek tendencies will no doubt give me a serious leg up when it comes to being successful in this course. This excites me greatly! I’m going to go to the library tomorrow and get out some books on Illustrator and Dreamweaver. I’m not sure either is a requirement for the course, but both are something I’d like to be able to master.

Here’s me after my first class…Nothing says success like a photo that reveals a tampon disposal unit in the background!

Tonight at the Nutrimetics thingo, someone asked me what I did. For the first time in ages, I wasn’t embarrassed by my response, nor did I have to lie or go into details about my mental health. “I study web design” was my response. It felt good. Great even.
I’m about to go and do some homework. I want to get some boring modules out of the way so I can get onto the good stuff.

PS. I smell awesome.

I never knew Reindeer weren’t fictional

While I’m not actually feeling the *squee* and cute overload of these images right now, I did enjoy them Friday when I went to Myuna Farm with Loz and the little boy she Nannies for.

Don’t get me wrong, the wet nose and massive eyelashes of this Reindeer melt me, I’m just that I’m in an oddly depressed and lonely mood. It’s that romantic loneliness too, which sucks. Furry whiskers and big ears aren’t going to fix it.

It would just be nice to have a non-furry cuddly companion to snuggle up with on the couch on a Saturday night. Oh god, I just re-read that and it sounds ridiculous. I sound like the cat lady I always talked about becomming. I mean, it would be nice to be a cat lady, but fuck, not at 25! I hadn’t planned on the cat lady thing for at least another 40 years!

 Here, have some pictures of cute animals to make up for this lack lustre emotional whiney post.

Alan Key, anyone?

Sometimes I feel so confused. It’s like the world is an Ikea instructional diagram for a GRANÅS tallboy and I no speak-a the Swedish.

Good News Everyone!

Look at me! I’m officially a student!!

I enrolled at Tafe today in Website Design! Can you see how excited I am? Hahaha that was me as I filled out the enrollment details!
I’d hoped that I’d scan in my new student ID card…but I’d prefer to preserve your eyesight. It is horrific. I look like a female version of Peter Griffin!

Last day of Sommer

My last entry about the midget wearing a sash was the alternative entry to the one I had typed, but neglected to post for a number of reasons. The originally intended post was a selection of emotional ramblings fueled by the end of my friendship with Greg, Loz deciding to move out, concern for sick mum and generally feeling like shit with this Glandular Fever business.

Instead of posting it, I went to therapy and told my Shrink all about it. After an hour in her office, I walked away feeling so much better. I used to wonder how people could spend 20 years in therapy, but now I understand completely. It feels good to purge all your feelings and thoughts. Especially when the person you’re telling your most intimate feelings to empathizes with your problems so genuinely.

It’s funny actually…since I’ve started therapy the content in this journal has really gone downhill. I guess perhaps I’m not as frustrated with things in my life as much nowadays. I always used negative emotions as the source of all my inspiration to write. It’s much harder to write about happy things…but I’ll give it a try.

Later that afternoon, Nate and I set out for a spontaneous afternoon road trip. We ended up in Sommer, which is…well I’m not sure exactly but I can tell you you won’t find it on the HMS Cerberus base, that’s for sure.
The Melways neglects to tell you that the most direct road to Sommer isn’t actually accessible to civilians 99% of the time. Nate and I only realised this once we were stopped for a 100 point ID check half way down the road. We felt like such cockheads being stopped by the Naval Police! Thankfully the seaman in the tighter white pants gave us some better directions and sent us on our way.

Uh-Oh!

After our great escape from the Navy Base

Trying to figure out the directions the Navy guy gave us

1 cigarette and 3 songs on Gold FM later, we were finally there. I say ‘finally’ like it was an epic trip, but really we were only about 45mins away from home. I just can’t judge time or directions very well.
Sommer is lovely. From what I could tell it’s a small seaside kinda place where the houses all have orgasmic views of the ocean. It’s the kind of place old people would migrate to for a sea change.

We frolicked on the beach and took lots of pictures of sand and water, as one might do at the beach. While Nate disappeared into the scrub for a pee, I took it upon myself to advertise my website by writing the URL in the sand. When Nate came back, I decided it would be a good idea to lay on the sand and pose with my masterpiece. A few pictures later (pictures that will never see the light of day because I look like walrus basking in the sun), I got up and realised I was drenched. Turns out the sand that looked kinda dry was, in fact, not dry at all. I figured this was my cue to discard my bra and underwear, and head into the water to get rid of the sand off my clothes.

Dripping wet, but free of sand, I collected my unmentionables and we headed back to the car. I dried off and traveled home in my tee shirt and undies. I didn’t realised til I got home that I’d actually left my favourite bra on top of Nates car back at the beach. Perhaps whoever finds it can use it as a sun hat for Siamese twins?

On the way home, I made Nate pull over after I spotted a huge Clydesdale standing behind his fence at the side of the road. I ran across the highway in my towel and patted him for about 20 minutes. I would have stayed for hours if Nate had let me! He was so big and friendly and his mouth kinda reminded me of a vagina.

Delighted and happy and with hands smelling of horse, we drove home. I couldn’t stop thinking how the small events of this day had made me more content than I had been all week. It was totally worth losing my favourite bra for…hell, I’ve lost bras for less.