There are those people who like to chat online and form polite friendships over email but lack the inclination to ever merge their online and offline lives. Then there are folks like me, who actively seek to morph those online friendships into tangible, three dimensional experiences by meeting in person.
Meeting someone from the Net for the first time can evoke the strangest of emotions. In situations where the online friendship is relatively new, I’m very non chalant about the whole thing. If it goes well, awesome. If it doesn’t and they leave, and we never speak again, I’m not too miffed. But in cases where I’ve known the person for an extended period of time, ie: over 6 months, the prospect of meeting them in the flesh scares the shit out of me. Maybe it’s just me, but when I chat to someone online, I start to piece together a picture of them in my head, their mannerisms, the way I think they’ll speak, their demenour…it’s hard not to form a mental image of that person. You might get along like a house on fire in the binary world, but what if that doesn’t translate into real life? What if there’s just no connection? What then? I always feel really disappointed if I meet someone and they’re substantially different to how I pictured them. What if you meet in real life and it just goes pear shaped? Inevitably, in those situations, the online friendship fizzles out regardless of how well you get along while in the confines of cyberspace.
I’m a big advocate of meeting quite soon into the online friendship. I figure if you get along well, you may as well meet and see whether there’s a connection in real life. I hate the idea of working to create a friendship online only to find out that you have absolutely nothing in common in person. This is why I was pleasantly surprised to meet an online friend in person for the first time today.
Okay, pleasantly surprised isn’t the right way to phrase it. I had anticipated that we would get along like a house on fire, but there’s always that element of doubt in the back of your mind. What if they think I’m a dickhead? What if this? What if that? You know how it goes. I kept telling myself I wasn’t nervous about the prospect of meeting a friend I’ve known online for 3 years, but my sweaty hands begged to differ.
As luck would have it, the transition from online buddies to real life pals was incredibly smooth for us. It felt easy and comfortable and he is just like I had imagined him to be. Turns out the mental image I had was almost spot on, except he laughed at my jokes more in real life, which I certainly won’t complain about! While I felt at ease, I talked a million miles a minute, which prompted him to tell me I was more “random” than he imagined I would be. I think he was relieved when I told him that wasn’t the first time someone had told me that!
He hung out with Loz and I in the loungeroom, talking shit and generally shooting the breeze. I gave him a quick tour of the house, even though it closely resembles Waco, TX right now. He was, however, polite enough not to mention that fact.
After far too many ciggies in far too little time, he got going. After he left, I kept thinking to myself how lucky I’ve been to meet some of the people I’ve met online. The friends I’ve made have been awesome. Perhaps next time I’m nervous about meeting someone in real life, I should re-read this entry and remind myself that the dangers of having the online friendship collapse are entirely outweighed by the prospect of gaining an awesome new friend in real life.
Thanks for making the long trek out, A4E! You’re awesome.
