Fin.
When I was in the depths of my battle with Anxiety, I was encouraged to write a list of the 10 things I found most difficult to do. They were things that I’d once been able to do with ease, that I now struggled with or found too overwhelming to even contemplate.
I found that list not too long ago, and today, I crossed the last goal off my list.
I went to the Movies at Southland.
Now, I’m more aware than anyone that being able to go to the cinema isn’t a huge deal. Everyone does it. But for so long it’s been one thing I just hadn’t been able to muster the courage to do.
Most people find the darkness comforting, the close seating a good chance to get cosy with their date, the closed doors at the back of the cinema simply a way to keep out undesirables. But all those elemental features of the movie going experience terrified me. I hated the idea of being stuck in there. Scared I’d annoy other people if I freaked out and had to leave. The Dolby Surround Sound ringing in my eardrums would deafen me and drown out my senses leaving me feeling incredibly vulnerable.
But today, I bought my tickets and my ridiculously overpriced combo from the generic teenage kid at the Lolly Counter just like a normal person. I found a seat in the dark, and proceeded to actually look forward to watching a movie in a cinema for the first time since I saw Lord of The Rings. Yes, the first one. That’s how long it had been.
While Final Destination 3 wasn’t without it’s charm, I have to say it was more the fact that I crossed that last goal of my list that I relished today. I walked out of the movies and I felt this sudden surge of excitement and pride. I could never have imagined 4 years ago, that crossing those terrifying scenarios off would make me feel so good. At the time they were situations that made me dizzy just imagining them. And now I’ve done them all.
It’s been a fantastic journey. While it’s not over, I want to thank you all for joining me on my voyage thus far.
