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If I could be….

If I could be a scientist…
If I could be a farmer…
If I could be a musician…
If I could be a doctor…
If I could be a painter…
If I could be a gardener…
If I could be a missionary…
If I could be a chef…
If I could be an architect…
If I could be a linguist…
If I could be a psychologist…
If I could be a librarian…
If I could be an athlete…
If I could be a lawyer…
If I could be an inn-keeper…
If I could be a professor…
If I could be a writer…
If I could be a llama-rider…
If I could be a bonnie pirate…
If I could be an astronaut…
If I could be a world famous blogger…
If I could be a justice on any one court in the world…
If I could be married to any current famous political figure…
If I could be any musical instrument…
If I could be a super hero…

If I could be a musician, I would be a super famous Broadway star!

If I could be a gardener, I’d plant Gerberas in everyones front yard, because Gerberas make people happy and smiley!

If I could be a pyschologist, I’d recruit other pychologists to donate their time, to help people with Agoraphobia, by visiting them in their houses.

If I could be married to any famous current political figure, it would be Bill Clinton, coz I think he’s super sexy and hot to trot.

If I could be a super hero, I would have the power of Zoom Eyes!

The Travellin Soldier

I had the strangest dream about DW last night.
It’s been a long time since I dreamt about him, but both are actually pretty similar in nature.

Scene 1.
I can’t remember how it started, but it turned out that DW had been staying at my folks house for a week, and everyone else knew, but no one told me.
Why the hell he was staying at my folks place is beyond me?!
Apparantly, he’d come down from Perth, not that he lives in Perth, for Daves Birthday.
I was at the local shopping centre, and I saw him at the top of the esculators. I looked up at him, and kinda waved, but then walked away.
He ran down the esculators, and chased after me, finally finding me in the car park. He was carrying the worlds biggest flower! It was huge! But it wasn’t for me, it was for a friend of mine I was with. And to me, he gave a single red rose.
He looked at me and said “When I saw you from the top of the esculator, the look in your eyes was so intense, and I couldn’t help myself…I had to see you and speak to you” Then he held my hand. Then he said the strangest thing
“What’s wrong with your teeth? They don’t look right?”
Embarressed, I put my hand over my mouth.

Skip to Scene 2.
We’re at my parents house. I go for a morning walk (???) and get half way down my street and realise I’m not wearing my proper school uniform. I don’t know why I’m in my school uniform! So I start to run home, and as I’m running home, I’m suddenly carrying a little Asian girl. She’s maybe 2? And has little chubby cheeks and is wearing a raincoat with her hood over her head.
I arrive back home, and I pass her to my parents, as if she’s theirs, and sneak into DW’s room. I climb into bed with him and we snuggle, even though I’m going to be late for the bus.

Scene 3.
DW and I are in a Moris Minor, with James and Cassie. We’re in the back.
This part of the dream feels like it’s straight out of “The Wonder Years”.
DW is wearing his Army uniform, but it’s the real formal one, you know the one? We pose for a photo, taken by Cassie, and he’s holding my hand and says as we pose “Finally, we get a photo together that I can keep”
He jumps out of the car as we slow down, and salutes mock salutes me.
His Army Seargent is right there, and he is reprimanded for being late to such a big event.
We find a car park, and I lean into Cassie and say “See, I told you he was fantastic” and I hug her.
We sit in tiered seating, that is erected around a giant field.
The field is filled with soldiers in formation, marching on show.
I’m filled with pride watching him.

And then my alarm goes off, and wakes me up.

It was so strange. I need to sit down and work out what it means.

383

The power was off all day today. Actually, correction…the lights still worked, as did the dvd player, but the rest of the appliances were all kapoot.
The fuse blew in the meterbox, and like a dork, I had no idea how to fix it.
Then again, neither did my landlord. Well, he attempted it but it blew as soon as he put it back in with new fuse wire. He’s calling out an electrician in the morning.

I’m only managing to run the pc because I’ve got an extension lead running across my bedroom floor, through the laundry and into the kitchen, where we have power in one of 2 outlets.

With my lack of pc, tv, and anything else to keep me sane throughout the day, I read for a few hours. “Catcher in the Rye” and then when it got a bit heavy, I swtiched to “Feel” the Robbie Williams biography. It’s actually a lot better than you’d expect and it’s more like a great Rolling Stone article than a fan based account of his life.

Friday night I went to Laurens 21st in Aspendale Gardens. Embarrasingly enough, my folks actually outlasted me on the night, and left a good 2 hours after I’d departed. To make things even lamer, I had to have a Milanta when I got home coz I had indegestion from something I ate. God, I swear I’m 60.

The highlight of the 21st, was when the stripper turned up. I swear, you’ve never seen a funnier reaction to a stripper. We just sat there, slack jawed, red faced and completely embarrassed for this poor guy in a CFA outfit.
He kept closing his eyes, and running his hand over his chest, like he was deep in thought. Very introspective like. He kept encouraging us to clap, but there was only about 7 chicks there, and so the response was more of embarresment than arrousal. I swear he cut the show short. He pulled off his velcro pants, showed us his arse, and then grabbed his clothes and ran out of the room, as you do when women have just laughed at your manhood.

Saturday night I sat around with Andrea, composing a harshly worded email directed at the Real Estate agent I rent through. We’ve been waiting for this heater to be fixed for over a month now, and nothing has been done.
It was so cold on Sunday night that James and I ended up sleeping in my bed together just to keep warm! I couldn’t even bear to poke my head out from under the doona to watch the Formula 1 on TV, it was that cold.

I recieved an email back Monday morning advising me they’d given the repairman the go ahead to come around and fix the heating, and that he should be in contact with me soon.
I was going to call him there and then to confirm when he’d be round, but I didn’t have time, as I had to rush out the door to get to a Docs appointment.

Doc couldn’t feel my Implanon either. He sent me for an Ultra Sound that afternoon, to see if they could detect it.
The woman who did the ultra sound was lovely.
I asked her, mid scan, if she “ever thought about lubing herself up, and scanning every part of her, and then take all the little black and white pictures and arrange them in a paper model of her insides”?

I reckon if I had that job, I’d scan parts of myself all the time. Like you wouldn’t??!

Implanon detected, even if I struggled to make out exactly what she was pointing at on the screen. She said that it was it. She’s the radiographer, so I guess she knows what she’s doing. Apparantly it’s placed higher up in my arm than normal, and about 4mm under the skin. How about that? It’s not that I’m a fatty boomba afterall?? Well, I am, but at least that isn’t the reason I can’t feel it! I’m so glad. Not coz of that, but glad because they don’t have to slice my arm open to look for the damn implant.

Jeez the lady at Mayne Health was a nosey bitch when I called up to book the Ultra sound! She’s like “What do you need done?”
“An Ultra sound..”
“Where abouts?”
“On my arm…”
“Why on your arm? What’s wrong with it?”
“It’s to look for Implanon”
“A what? An implant? What kind of implant?”

Oh what do you think you fucktard? The Government believe I’m an alien branded with Kryptonian implant in my arm, and they said if I don’t take the scan to prove my innocence, they’ll deport me…

“Contraceptive…Can you just book me in for today lady?”
“4pm” Click…BIP BIP BIP BIP

Nosey biddy.

Oh, btw, here’s 2 pics of the 21st. I gotta upload some more from my phone.
That’s my best friend Teeda and my Mum

That’s me and my old lady…altho she hates it when I use that term!

382

I’m half way through the process of cleaning my bedroom.
How the fuck do people have bedrooms that never look lived in? Why can’t mine look like that? Is it just me, or do other people leave undies on the floor, and then kick them under the bed should anyone turn up unannounced?

I had the Implanon put in yesterday, but be fucked if I can feel it to be honest. It should feel like a matchstick under my skin, but I can’t really find it. I’m not sure if that’s coz I’ve got fat arms, or whether it’s just deep under the skin?
Teeda tried to find it last night, but she said it was a lost cause. She also said that my arm felt lumpy, like a breast.

I had one of those dreams last night where I woke up humping the mattress. I don’t quite remember what it was about, but it must have been pretty good.
What’s the bet I was dreaming about a man who could fix a computer and fix a car? Oh, I’m sure they exist out there somewhere, but I’m yet to find one.
Is it too much to ask to find a manly nerd? I think those terms are mutually exclusive. You know, a bloke who can fix my adsl when it’s buggered, laughs at “The Office”, that will take the piss outta me and then kiss me coz he adores what a dork I am, gets hard when he hears an old school V8 engine, will love my cat as much as I do, and who will laugh hysterically with me when they see a dog with a buckety cone thing on his head. Does this ellusive man exist? Until I find him, I’m just going to have to keep having these matress humping dreams about him.
Let’s play WHAT’S ON PRUES DESK!!!!
Fire Engine red Fudge Hair colour…. The idea was to colour most of my hair black and throw a few sexy hot red streaks through it…although it hasn’t quite come to fruition yet. I do believe it will happen…some day.

Cherry Iron on patch… I got this to iron onto this shirt I own, I just haven’t been inclined to do it yet… story of my life!

Handcuffs… Yeah…well…I’m sure you get the idea hahaha

1 fake nipple… Late last year, when I wrote that “erotic fiction” *read that back now, and read it with one of those really dodgy, low brow porn voices* I won a $100 voucher at this online Club X type place. I figured I’d buy stuff I wouldn’t normally buy, so with $20 credit left, I saw these.
The one time I actually wore them, I was so self concious! People kept staring at my nipples, my friends guessed they weren’t actually mine, and I was worried I was going to put someones eye out. Moral of the story…Just stick with the tweaking method, if you want to draw attention to your breasts!

4 Lighters… Coz you never know when 3 might run out…

Red Lipstick… What can I say? I’m one of those chicks who love red lipstick! It always makes you feel so sexy and sassy, like a 40’s Hollywood glamazon.

1 Hair Roller… It’s kinda velcro-ey, and it got stuck on the inside of one of my jumpers at some point, and I threw it and it landed on my desk. It’s been here since.

2 Webcams…”You’re so vain…You probably think this song is about you” Yeah sounds like that I know, but I protest that one doesn’t actually work properly, and it just sits here coz I haven’t put it anywhere else. The other one, well that works, and yes, I think any one who owns a webcam is a slave to vanity, and you know what? I love it!

Guns N Roses Greatest Hits…. Ooooh yeah. Brings back memories of flanellete shirts and jeans you busted your arse to rip the knees out of. I had a long time crush on Axl Rose til I saw the terrible cosmetic surgery he had done, and then the desire to be Axl’s main squeeze faded.

Anyhoo, gotta run. Neighbours is on.

Love yas

Prue

381

Columbo in her new little jumper!!!

380

Went to bed at 10.30pm last night. Had the best sleep. Although, I woke up at 5.30am and just lay there, wide awake. Damn my body clock to hell.
So I spent the morning laying there, with the cat, cuddling and playing with her, til I got out of bed at 6.30 and made some toast.

At 8am, I called the doctors to make an appointment to have my Implanon put in.
Yay for contraception. Not that it will be my only form of contraception, obviously, but it’s always nice to have a back up and to be safe.
To be honest, I miss unprotected sex…within a monogomous committed relationship, obviously! There’s nothing better, than waking up next to your partner, and still being in that dozey, asleep stage, and feeling them inside you, while they’re arms are wrapped tight around you.

It’s been a long time since I had that! I can barely remember it!
I’ve had unprotected sex once in the 2 years I’ve been single, and it was with DW, in a ‘heat of the moment/passion fueled frenzy’ kinda thing. Thank the good lord for the morning after pill, but damn it was hot!

Sorry for that post about the pebble thing the other nite. I was feeling terrible and I really felt like my life was adversely affecting other people. That’s a dreadful feeling, especially when it’s to do with my anxiety, and being something I can’t control. I don’t know why I chose that analogy the other night, but in hindsight, it was pretty good huh? lol

My tummy hurts…friggin uterus. If i had a dollar for every post that contained the phrase “Friggin uterus” i’d be a hundredaire. Then you’d all want me! lol

Okay okay, I’m just rambling now!

Big shout out to Adam in Sydney, who I didn’t msg back the other day coz I had no credit. Your text msg’s are always appreciated, as is your concern and good thoughts! Hope you’re doing well mate.