What an interesting nite I had last nite. The Wolf messaged me all nite asking to come over…But for some reason I just decided not to accept. There’s nothing between him and I and I dont want to give him the wrong impression coz i know how much he likes me.
Good thing I didn’t say yes. Guess who showed up?
Yes, that’s right…DW. He’d gone to Cheers and been kicked out for being pissed, so he caught a taxi here. Why? Well your guess is as good as mine.
Drunken DW confesses to having been reading my journal and my website etc.
He also tells me that Tuesday he finally realised he was over his ex. And that there’s room for somoene in his life that he could fall in love with.
We talk etc and eventually after him hurling we go to bed.
We decide that no sex is the order of the nite, as after the last time we secumbed to temptation we both felt empty. We talk about how sex wouldnt really be appropriate when he tells me that perhaps the problem is that it actually is appropriate and that’s what makes it so difficult for us.
We start kissing and he’s holding me and carressing me and we’re really intimate and all of a sudden i burst into tears… it just happened. spontaneous erruption of overwhelming emotion.
He kisses me and wipes my tears away and says “Baby…can I make love to you?”
He tells me that I scare him coz i’m so intense but he feels closer to me at this point than he’s ever felt to anyone in his life.
We make love all nite and we talk.
He asks me what would make my dream come true and I tell him he already knows the answer to this.
I tell him though, that he could come around tomorrow. and the day after. and the day after.
And he says, “So you need me, want me, to come over after work, and guide you into your room and strip away your clothes and show you how much I missed you by making love to you all nite” And the nite after, and the nite after that, and the nite after that. Yes.
At one point he is kneeling on the bed in front of me, as I sit cross legged in front of him. He says to me that this is much like a recurring dream he has, where he is kneeling above me and i’m laying naked in front of him just waiting…Waiting for what I ask? Just waiting…waiting is his reply.
I confess I’ve waited forever for him. He promises me there that he will never hurt me again. ever.
I tell him that i couldnt stand having him dissapear after this. That I need this to be IT. After last nite, I could never go back to what we’ve become…that distant on again off again akward thing we have had going on. Last nite was too intense, too emotional, too incredible.
In the morning I ask him How he feels. He says he doesnt know. I back away from his kisses and hand him his clothes. I notice he realises because he leans over and holds me and kisses me deeply and softly.
I wrap the doona around me as he gets ready to leave. I sit on the kitchen bench, wearing only the doona. He wraps his arms around me and kisses me again and again. And then he leaves on foot to walk in the rain to work to get his car. I watch him walk away becoming soaked, wishing he’d have taken the jumper I offered him.
all this from drunken DW. Let’s see what sober DW has to say about this.
I guess we’ll find out tonite or tomorrow eh?
I just hope he realises what he’s gambling with this time.
I think he does. I know he does.
I hope this works out. I’m trying to be cautious and not to get excited.
It’s so hard not to though, when you’ve found that one person that makes you feel so vulnerable it’s like being naked. When you’ve found that one person you’re never self concious in front of. When you’ve found that one person that can make you laugh even in the down times. And when you’ve found that one person that you feel an undescribable connection with that it brings you to tears.
I dont have the pic he wanted me to show you scanned so this will have to do
My god he’s a spunk!
