Here Are Some Things That Give Me The Shits…an unsorted list.
Wankers who update their Facebook status 20 times a day to reflect their every emotion. If it’s awesome news, that’s great…but dude, I don’t need to hear about how miserable you are every time I log in. Seriously, if you want everyone to know your business, get a fucking blog. That’s what we did in the old days, and look how well that turned out!
Bad Television Ads- Has anyone else seen the new Workplace Safety Ads on TV. Dude, I thought the TAC clips were graphic but wow! I swear I can see that Asian guys skull as his skin melts onto the floor! Then there’s that Scooter ad and the chicks hands are all mangled…but perhaps the most distasteful ad I saw all night was the Pro-Life Keep Abortion Illegal minute long guilt trip filled with right wing religious overtones and some classy Photoshop work to make the uterus more glowy and light filled than I’d previously believed it to be. The last ad evoked the kind of frustration that the Vista Blinds “BUY ONE GET ONE FREE!” woman can normally only draw from me.
Bad Australian Clothing For Fatties-Seriously! It gives me the shits that because there are so few options for plus size womens fashion in Australia, that places like Big City Chic get away with charging an absolute fortune for shitfully made and poorly fashioned clothes. Kmart, Target and Big W all suck a giant dick too. They all only produce one decent item per season and then you be sure that everywhere you go, another fat chick will be wearing the same item. This is not the time to tell me losing weight would solve the problem, coz there’d just be another fat chick whinging about the same thing to take my place.
My Distinct Lack of Painting Ability- Joey, my housemate, has had some time off recently and the other day we thought we’d get out some canvas and paint a masterpiece to be enjoyed throughout the ages. Mine didn’t exactly turn out like that. I was trying to paint Our Lady of Guadalupe but she turned out looking like…like…if Grimace and Nana Maskoury had a baby and that baby grew up to have really small hands and slutty eye make up. I know I can tell you it’s not finished yet, but I really can’t undo the damage I’ve done. Damn my lack of talent.
People Who Don’t Enjoy Scrabble- What is it with you people? How can you not love it? Granted, I do get a little competitive but I’m like that with Monopoly, Poker, Bullshit, Taboo… actually… maybe people just don’t like to play Scrabble with me? I think that could be it.
October 7th, 2008 at 11:00 pm
DOOD, this fatty never shops at KMART and BIGW anymore. Target is meh for everything but undies. But Sussans XL is my friend. And Katies occasionally has dirt cheap stuff and they can go up to size 22 and some of their stuff is nice AS. Sign up for a Katies card and you get 5% off everything. If you want really nice clothes, TS+14 in Myer has awesome stuff for one-off going out stuff. It’s expensive but it’s really well made and their stuff lasts for ages, not like KFart and BigW. I buy their stuff for work. I still can’t find anything to fit my “is it 16 or 18″ arse in pants anywhere but TS+14, though. (http://www.ts14plus.com.au/home.html). Big City Fuck has the worst clothes in the world. Like a fat girl needs to look like a rubix cube! WTF.
October 7th, 2008 at 11:10 pm
omg I LOVE scrabble! Like you said, how can you not ove it?!?!?!
*laughs* about facebook status updates. I agree!
Fran is going to the toilet
Fran is wiping her bum
Fran is having a shower
Fran is picking her nose
Fran just farted
I love you PRUE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! xoxoxoxox
October 8th, 2008 at 8:00 am
I think you underestimate yourself - it looks allright so far, and I’m sure it’ll be smashing when you finish (and I’m not pissing in your pocket either, I mean that - it looks alright so far, it might need a touch-up here and there, but I like where it’s going). You do have talent - didn’t you do a whole bunch of paintings a couple of years ago? They were good.
October 8th, 2008 at 10:30 am
I love you a bit, Prue. That fat girl rant had me in fits. ITS ALL TRUE.
October 8th, 2008 at 10:38 am
@snizzkath: LMAO Rubix Cube. It’s funny coz it’s true!
I checked out TS but their catalogue looks kinda like Ken Done threw up on most of their clothes! boo to bright geometrics being the flavour of the week!
October 8th, 2008 at 10:38 am
@Fran: Finally! Someone to play Scrabble with! We’ll totally have to play!! I even have a Lazy Susan to guarantee good times! hahaha
xoxo
October 8th, 2008 at 10:39 am
@The Jester: Aww Kev you’re always so complimentary! Thankyou!
October 8th, 2008 at 10:40 am
@Milla: I ended up cutting out about 3 paragraphs worth of rant! I have a lot of built up fat angst haha Kaths comment about looking like a Rubix cube is so spot on!
October 8th, 2008 at 11:25 am
Your shrink should be fired. Clearly you’re still a nut job.
October 8th, 2008 at 12:25 pm
@Rob: Maybe I could pass her number on to you for some anger management courses?
October 9th, 2008 at 11:24 am
Haha, I laughed when you said that stuff about the fatty clothes and Big Crappy Chic. Their clothes suck ass (I want sleeves, damn it, my arms are fat and I want to hide them but nothing in their shop has sleeves). Myer is pretty awesome for + sizes but theyre expensive
I have also discovered that it’s impossible to find anything plus sized and maternity. Hmm. Oh, I did find a very very nice top at Autograph last week. Very pretty.
I also hate all the facebook status updates (the serious ones). xx
October 11th, 2008 at 12:13 am
@Fran and Prue: I saw something recently that might give you a laugh, that sums up what you have been saying about the droogs updating their emotions and activity a zillion times a day:
http://au.youtube.com/watch?v=ALbH63Ali9U
http://au.youtube.com/watch?v=CwGzdbLweUI