Dear Pruesaysit,

I check my ex’s Facebook, like once a week, even though we broke up a few years ago. It’s not that I have any feelings for him, but curiosity always gets the better of me. Does this make me a total stalker?

Sluethy,
Melbourne

Sleuthy,

If that action makes you a stalker, then there’s a lot of stalkers out there, trust me. Look, there are some people who, once they’ve terminated a relationship, sexual, platonic or otherwise, with someone, they can just turn off any attachment they had to that person. I don’t know how they do it, and at times, I almost envy them in a way. But like you, I still wonder about certain people in my life and what became of them, so I’ll totally admit to having a poke around the ole FB to to find out how they’re doing. I say, as long as you’re not calling this dude in the middle of the night to hear him breathe, or bombarding him with messages, then you’re not stalking him.  Do keep in mind, that sometimes the Facebook reveals more about people than we’d necessarily bargained for, so be prepared for whatever you may encounter.

Dear Prue,

At what stage do you give a girl your number? Say, you’ve met her on an online dating site, talked awhile , found her to seem nice and interesting and want to know her more? I don’t want to come off too eager, you know?

The Beav,
Croydon

Beav,

My best advice is to use your best judgement and be up front. You don’t wanna go in for it too early, but I say, if the chat is flowing nicely and you’re getting along and you’re getting the vibe that the phone would be a great place to take it, then it doesn’t hurt to put your cards on the table and say “Hey, really enjoy talking to you and I hope you don’t think it’s too upfront, but would you be up for a chat on the phone?” If she tells you she’s busy at the moment, then offer up your number and let her know that if she ever wants to chat on the phone or a text volley, you’d dig hearing from her. That’s it. Don’t push it any further. Leave the ball in her court. Trust me, birds online get numbers thrown at them left right and centre. Hopefully, she’ll reciprocate but don’t be disappointed if she doesn’t straight away. She might wanna suss you out first. You’ll be able to tell by her reaction whether she’s keen or not. Fingers crossed Beav.

Dear Pruesaysit,

Once a week I go to my local takeaway to get some fish & chips.  There’s a woman there that I think fancies me and I’d like to ask her out.  For the last 6 months, everytime I go there, she tells me about how her boyfriend doesn’t care about her anymore and he’s always out with his friends, and she wishes she could find someone more like me.

The problem is, I feel a bit weird asking her out when she still has a boyfriend (as bad as he is) and also – I really love their grilled flake.  If asking her out goes pear-shaped, not only will I be embarrased and feel like a bit of a jerk, but I’ll have to find somewhere else to get my fish & chips.

What should I do?

Hey there,

Okay, first…I empathise with your situation. I know how hard it is to find a good fish and chip shop nowadays. Totally feel your concern for the grilled flake, should it all go pear shaped. I think next time she says she’d like a guy more like you, then you should say “Well, a guy like me would be totally ask out a girl like you… if she were single, that is” *Cue wink or cheeky grin* And just see how it flies. Then it’s out there. You’d ask her out if she was single. The ball is in her court. Worst case scenario, she’ll stay with her bf, but feel bad that she didn’t give you a go, and she’ll start to throw in a few extra potato cakes out of sympathy. So there’s potential for you to be a winner here, either way.
Just keep it flirty and fun and enjoy the flake in the mean time. PS. Small time plug for Nectas Fish n Chips in Mt Waverley! He’s awesome.