In short, anyone who really tries to tackle this question is going to be talking out their arse. Getting over an ex is such an individual and complex thing. Some people cry, some people don’t get over it for months/years, some people figure that someone not wanting to date them isn’t the end of the world, suck it up and move on; and some people figure they’re better off back on the horse sooner than later. I don’t know which one is the right approach. You gotta do what works for you when you’re getting over someone you’ve loved. I’ve tried plenty of approaches. The “fuck it out”, the “go celibate for 18 months for clarity”, the “burn his left over crap in a bonfire” have been some of my most…interesting approaches. The most I can offer is to remember that you’re worth isn’t determined by whether the object of your affections reciprocates your feelings, and that being free offers you the chance to find someone who will love you back with the same intensity. Without sounding like Tony Robbins with the insanely big hands and booming voice, I really think that when one door closes, another opens. Different is scary as fuck for a lot of us. I know it is for me. But different doesn’t have to mean bad. Sometimes change brings awesomeness. Do whatever you needa do, with reason, to get over your ex, but just remember, you’re still a good egg and you still have all the amazing qualities you had when you had a partner…now you’re just free to share em with new people.
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just tweetin it.png" alt=" " title=" " />- I have The Girl from Ipanema stuck in my head. Great song, but after 5 hours it's losing it's charm.
- Contrast Dye I injection Attempt Number 4: My arm is fucking killing me today. http://yfrog.com/1g5a7cj
- Results from CT scan in. Appointment at 145 to figure out what the fuck this pain is. Also, Flintstones Chewable Morphine would rock.
- In agony. hurry up ct scan, please.
- Unexpected Mary on a Chain!! I love surprise Catholic Idols! Thank you very much honey <3 http://dailybooth.com/u/4p8up
- Wind scratching the rose bushes against my window sounds like Freddy Krueger could be on the other side. Argh!
- Bring on Spring!!! http://dailybooth.com/u/4lzj3
- my tummy hurts like the dickens. that is all.
- Good Morning my friends!! Enjoy your Monday! :) http://dailybooth.com/u/4l9kv
- Prue Says It: I said more stuff http://bit.ly/aORsO7
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My favorite quote ever about this kind of thing is as follows:
“How many times have you tried to talk to someone about something that matters to you, tried to get them to see it the way you do? And how many of those times have ended with you feeling bitter, resenting them for making you feel like your pain doesn’t have any substance after all?
Like when you’ve split up with someone, and you try to communicate the way you feel, because you need to say the words, need to feel that somebody understands just how pissed off and frightened you feel. The problem is, they never do. “Plenty more fish in the sea,” they’ll say, or “You’re better off without them,” or “Do you want some of these potato chips?” They never really understand, because they haven’t been there, every day, every hour. They don’t know the way things have been, the way that it’s made you, the way it has structured your world. They’ll never realise that someone who makes you feel bad may be the person you need most in the world. They don’t understand the history, the background, don’t know the pillars of memory that hold you up. Ultimately, they don’t know you well enough, and they never can. Everyone’s alone in their world, because everybody’s life is different. You can send people letters, and show them photos, but they can never come to visit where you live.
Unless you love them. And then they can burn it down.”
— Michael Marshall Smith (from ‘Only Forward’)
Ok ok ok, call me gay for posting a quote but that’s one of my faves. Of course it doesnt resonate with me now that I’m not experiencing that kind of thing…. but I still like it. xx
Sharnee! I love that quote, that’s so true. It’s always such an individual thing and the advice you can give to one person, is always different to the advice you’d give another. There’s no bandaid fix all. Hahaha S will be happy to hear that it no longer resonates with you nowadays!!
xx
FUCK YES.
Depends on the person. Depends on the relationship. Depends on who you were when you were IN the relationship.
is it wrong that I was super chuffed that I got a “fuck yes” from you? hahaha
Totally. So true, about who you were whilst IN the relationship, different people evoke different sides in you.
I don’t think you ever get over them – not the long term ones – you just get past them, or the idea of them.
Which is fine, I mean, who says that the goal is to get over someone? Maybe if we’re all striving for that, we’re just making it harder on ourselves…
The memories are forever, but that doesn’t mean you have to drag them out in front of you each step of the way…..
You’re right. I mean, I still have a place in my heart for the only three men I’ve ever truely loved and probably always will. The way I feel about them all is different and I don’t think I’ll ever be *OVER* them, rather, just accept that it was a great love while it lasted and perhaps not all great love is meant to last forever. Better to have loved and have lost, right? I guess I’m a believer that I’d prefer 10 years of passion to 20 years of mediocre love.